The Naughty Alice
by BrazeN23
Summary: [Lost Alice] What if the girl chosen to become 'Alice' was already named Alice? What if she accepted the Spinner of Tales's offer happily? What if her reason for coming to Wonderland... was to date as many good-looking guys as possible? (currently complete)
1. Come to Wonderland

Alice Nightwind faced the hooded stranger in her house with far less concern than the average girl would. "So, you want me to come and be the protagonist in your story?"

"That's right," replied the man, who called himself the Spinner of Tales. "You are perfect for the role."

"Sounds interesting. But I do have a few conditions. One, you're going to tell me exactly I'm agreeing to... Every detail. I want total honesty from you, and I don't think that's something you have any reason to refuse me."

The Spinner of Tales paused. He seemed somewhat surprised at her demand, but after a moment he nodded. "That seems... fair."

"Good. First step, let me see your face."

Again, a surprised pause. Then he slowly reached up and lowered the hood, revealing white hair and red eyes. Well, at least one red eye. His hair covered the right one completely. It was a handsome face, although there was a bleakness to his expression, as though he had gone through harsh things and been left with scars inside.

A smile spread across Alice's face. She sauntered up to him and casually ran her fingers up the front of his robe. "There's plenty of guys in this... Wonderland, right?"

His blank face twitched slightly, as if every word out of her mouth was more unexpected than the last. "...Yes, naturally." He gently removed her hand from his chest, but she just clasped it with her other hand behind her back and leaned further into his personal space.

"Are they all as hot as you?"

His visible eye seemed to widen just a bit. "...I'm afraid I couldn't say. You'd have to form an opinion on that yourself."

Alice giggled. "I can live with that. Can I have as many as I want?"

One corner of his mouth twitched upward. Apparently he was finally getting used to her way of thinking. "As long as they don't mind... And since you'll be the protagonist, I'm quite sure you'll be able to find some who won't."

Like a little girl, she clapped her hands. "Oh, good! Now, why don't you tell me what you're going to expect of me as your protagonist."

"Once you become Alice, you must stay in Wonderland forever."

She tilted her head. "I can't think of a reason why you'd insist on that, but if I've got boys to play with then I suppose I don't really care. I'm already Alice, though."

"That may be your name, but it isn't the same as becoming 'the Alice'. So that she never desires to leave Wonderland, Alice must renounce all ties to the real world."

"I'm fine with that," said Alice. "But out of curiosity, how did you plan to handle it if you got an 'Alice' who just wanted to go home?"

"What home?" the Spinner of Tales asked, wearing a devious smirk. "If Alice can't remember ever living anywhere but Wonderland, why would she want to leave?" The smirk froze as Alice held a finger against his lips.

"You might be able to erase the mind, but you can't erase the heart. If your 'Alice' felt any strong attachment to the real world, her heart would tell her she was missing something, and she would attempt to regain her lost memories."

The Spinner of Tales's face contorted into a displeased frown, but Alice leaned in and kissed the wrinkle it put in his brow, surprising him once again.

"Fortunately for you, I'm already Alice in more than name. No memory alterations are necessary for me, and I'll be very upset with you if you try. Just take me to your Wonderland... I have a feeling it'll be more of a home to me than this world ever was."

"You... have no attachments to this world?" His expression of shock was the strongest emotion she had yet seen from him.

She took a moment to think it over, then shrugged. "There's one guy who's been my friend since we were kids, but I can live without him. I suppose he might miss me... Maybe you could let him come to Wonderland too?"

The Spinner of Tales closed his eyes to block out her adorable pleading pout so he could make his decision in peace. Finally he opened them and met her gaze again. "Very well. The role of the Hatter is not filled yet... Being required to hold a tea party every day should keep him out of trouble, and yet it isn't too much to ask, is it?"

"No, that sounds acceptable. One last question, Spinner of Tales... What is your real name?"

"My... real name..." His eyes seemed to lose focus, staring off into the distance. His face gradually relaxed, becoming less stern and intimidating. "I think... it was... Louis."


	2. Only One Rule

Alice opened her eyes. She sat up, rubbed her head to chase away the faint ache in it, and looked around. The place she found herself vaguely resembled a cave, but the queerness of it left her convinced that she was indeed in Wonderland.

"Good morning, Alice."

She looked up to find a crimson-haired man standing a short distance away, eyeing her with curiosity. More eye candy already, wasn't she a lucky girl... "Well hello, handsome. How do you know my name?" She adopted an innocently sensual pose.

A smile put crinkles at the corners of his ruby eyes. "Everyone knows Alice. All of Wonderland has been waiting for her... for you."

"I guess that'll save time if I don't have to continuously introduce myself," Alice giggled. "But who might you be?"

He held one arm across his torso and bowed. "Joker Braze."

"Pleased to meet you, Joker," said Alice, offering her hand so he could help her stand. "Would you mind showing me around?"

Joker chuckled and pulled her up. "That's really the Cheshire Cat's role, but since I'm the only person here, I suppose it won't hurt anything if I play kitty for a bit."

"Thank you very much." Alice continued to hold his hand even once she was solidly on her feet.

"You're an interesting one, Alice..."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, with a grin to let him know she took 'interesting' as a compliment.

"Any other girl in this situation would be crying from loneliness and confusion, wouldn't they?"

"Well, I'm not any other girl, now am I? Besides, I know what's going on so I've got no reason to be confused, and I've got you with me so why would I be lonely?"

Joker chuckled and led her out of the cave. After they had walked a short distance, he gently pulled his hand from her grasp. "Kyle should be showing up any time now..."

"Who's Kyle?" Alice asked, sounding almost eager. "And why should him showing up keep us from holding hands?"

"I'd rather he had the reasons for that explained to him before he decides to throw a spell at me, thanks all the same," laughed Joker. He took a step back, and then looked over Alice's shoulder. "Speak of the devil..."

"My Alice," purred a new voice, and a pair of arms wrapped around her in a snug embrace.

"My, aren't you a bold one?" Alice remarked in a satisfied tone. "I'm guessing you're Kyle."

"Kyle Knock, the Cheshire Cat," the voice agreed as a pair of lips moved closer to her ear than was strictly appropriate for a man she'd just met.

But Alice just hummed and reached up to run a hand through his hair, teasing the cat ears that she found there.

A sound almost like a moan escaped the cat boy. "My Alice, I missed you so much..."

"I missed you too," Alice replied, giggling.

A bark of laughter came from Joker. "The two of you have never met before, and yet..."

"Oh, hush, Joker," Kyle grumbled like a petulant child. "I've been waiting for Alice so long, and now we're finally together."

"She's an interesting one, though," Joker remarked. "Any other girl would be fighting to get out of your arms right about now. And probably wailing about the proper way to treat a lady."

Kyle nuzzled his face against Alice's neck. "I'm not worried about the 'proper way to treat a lady', because there's only one woman I care about... And that's you, Alice."

Alice gave a sigh as if he had said something especially romantic. "You flatter me so, Kyle..."

"Stay with me forever, Alice," he whispered in reply. "I'll make sure you won't regret it."

Joker snickered, not at all embarrassed at witnessing their rather steamy first meeting.

"Take your hands off her, Cheshire Cat!" roared yet another voice.

Kyle stiffened, but didn't move since Alice seemed to be enjoying his affections.

"Oh, there you are, Luke," Alice said calmly as a black-haired man in a top hat and old-fashioned suit came stomping towards them. "How are you liking Wonderland?"

He came to a stop, a betrayed look in his jade green eyes. "What are you doing, Alice?"

"Enjoying the wonders of Wonderland," she answered sweetly. "And I do hope there are more yet to come."

"More wonders? What do you mean?" Luke demanded.

"Well, I've only been here a few minutes, and look at all the hunks I've collected already." As she spoke, Alice waved her hand at Joker, at Kyle, whose arms she was still happily residing in, and at Luke himself. Then her face took on a more serious look and she let go of Kyle. "Turn me loose for a moment, Kyle dear."

The term of endearment and the phrase 'for a moment' seemed to pacify him, and Kyle released her without argument. She moved to a spot where she could face all three of them at once, gave Kyle's sandy brown locks and amethyst eyes an approving look, and then spoke.

"The Spinner of Tales has brought me here to be his Alice in Wonderland, and he is allowing me to have any man I like. He even brought my childhood friend along from my old world, because precious Luke is so devoted to me..." She paused and blew a kiss at the Hatter, causing him to blush and duck his head as if to hide under his hat.

"So here's how it's going to work... You don't own me. None of you. But if you want to be mine, I have no objections. The only rule is that you have to share. You can be jealous if you want... I think it's kind of cute. But no possessiveness, okay, darlings?"

"Anything my Alice wishes," Kyle agreed immediately. His tail swished slowly, drawing Alice's attention. How funny that it was covered in purple fur instead of matching his hair and ears... She quickly snapped herself back to reality.

Luke hesitated a moment, then grudgingly nodded. "If that's what makes you happy, Alice."

Everyone looked at Joker, who grinned. "I said Alice was interesting, didn't I? Of course I'm going to stick around and observe more."

Luke scowled. "That doesn't answer whether you'll play by the rules."

Joker laughed. "There's only one rule. Don't monopolize Alice. I don't think I could break it even if I tried."

"I'm glad you understand," said Alice. She glanced over at Luke. "Of course, a guy would have to be stupid to try monopolizing me when I don't want it... He'd have to fight all my other boyfriends for the right." With that, she walked over to Joker and pulled on his tie until his face was within kissing distance.

Luke averted his eyes, unwilling to watch his lover tangling tongues with another man. "All right, all right, I get it. I can't have you all to myself. Can you stop rubbing it in?"

"Of course not," said Kyle, actually sounding somewhat sympathetic. "In a situation like this, she's going to be rubbing it in every time you turn around, whether on purpose or by accident. That's just how a complex relationship like this works."

Luke sighed. He braved a glance at the still-kissing pair, then quickly looked away again. He would try to get used to this, but it was going to take some time.


	3. Rabbit Traits

"So you're Alice."

"That I am. Introduce us, Luke."

Luke rolled his eyes and continued pouring the tea. "This is Sidd Rex, the March Hare."

"Nice to meet you."

"And you," Alice replied, getting up from her chair to curtsy. Instead of sitting down, however, she walked around the table to where Sidd was sitting and started looking him over.

"'Scuse me?" Sidd looked a little disconcerted.

"Don't pay her any mind," Luke said dully. "She's just deciding if you should go on her 'eligible' list."

"Eligible... for what?"

"Boyfriend," Alice answered, petting the rabbit boy's ears without so much as a by-your-leave. "It's not a list, Luke. There's not one boy I declared eligible who hasn't agreed to date me."

Since Luke was acting like everything was normal, if somewhat unpleasant, Sidd did his best ignore the soft strokes of her hand. He turned to Luke and tried to act equally nonchalant. "So, how long do they usually last?"

With a slightly depressed look, Luke shrugged. "None of them have broken up with her yet."

Just after Sidd had properly processed this information, he found Alice plopping herself down astride his lap. "I've got two questions for you, bunny boy."

Deciding that 'bunny boy' wasn't too bad of a nickname, coming from her, Sidd said, "Name 'em."

"First, do rabbits really go sort of crazy during mating season? And second, do you have a tail to match your ears?"

Feeling his face start to heat up, Sidd managed to reply without stammering. "I think I'll save those answers for another day."

With a gentle tug on his ears, Alice brought his head down and pressed a kiss to one of the furry appendages. "Okay. I'd like it even better if they were demonstrative answers."

Sidd swallowed hard. "We'll see..."


	4. Inverted Bliss

When Owen went to pay his respects to the newly arrived Alice of Wonderland, the last thing he expected was to find her in her garden, hanging upside down from the vine of a Prank Rafflesia. While that was shocking enough on its own, she was apparently not the least bit discomforted.

Her arms were crossed behind her head, her face flushed... Although from the relaxed smile on her face and the cheerful humming sound she made, it was obviously due to her inverted position and completely unrelated to any sense of embarrassment. And, most detrimental to the Chess King attempts to hold on to his dignity, her skirt was completely flipped, falling down unchecked around her torso and exposing a very skimpy pair of blue lace panties. Fortunately, the dress was belted tightly at her waist, or else Owen had no doubt she would be just as blissfully showing off whatever undergarments were covering her chest.

"Oh, hello there! The Chess King, I presume?"

Upon spotting him, Alice's attitude remained unruffled, and he was barely able to give a nod in response.

"Would you mind getting me down from here? I'd do it myself, but it's difficult to focus on casting magic with all the blood rushing to my head, and I wouldn't want to fall and hurt myself."

Gentleman that he was, Owen couldn't very well leave her like that... Especially since the longer he was around her, the more certain he became that she'd been patiently waiting for some hapless male, like himself, to wander along and catch her in that compromising position.


	5. Strip Poker

Lily stopped still and stared at the silver-haired man sitting in the hall just under a mirror. "You're... Neil, aren't you?"

He looked up at her and nodded. "That is correct, Lady of Diamonds."

Lily laughed. "I almost didn't recognize you. I've seen Alice alone, but I don't think I've ever seen you when you weren't tagging along with her."

"It is my job to monitor Alice. I can do that by following her or watching her through mirrors," Neil replied with a shrug.

"So what are you doing right now?"

Neil's eyes flitted upward briefly to the mirror above him. "Just taking a break."

"Do you take many breaks?" Lily tilted her head curiously.

"Not really." Neil stood up. "I think I'd better get back now."

As he turned toward the mirror, Lily reached out and grabbed his sleeve. "Wait!"

"Do you need something from me?"

"Just one question," Lily pleaded. "Where is Alice right now?"

Neil gave her an almost tormented look. "Playing strip poker with the Lord of Spades in her room." He carefully removed his sleeve from her grasp, and in a slow flash of light disappeared.

"Oh my," exclaimed Lily, a smile creeping across her face, and she raced off down the hall. She soon reached the door to Alice's room, knocking on it politely.

"Come in!" called a cheerful voice.

"Wait, hold on a second!" another voice said frantically. "You don't even know who it is!"

"Okay," said the first voice. "Tell us who you are before you come in!"

"Lily Diamond," Lily answered eagerly. "Do I have your approval to enter, Ace?"

The second voice sighed. "Fine..."

Opening the door, Lily scampered into the room and look a good look at the occupants. Alice was sitting on her bed, Ace on a chair nearby, and Neil on another chair next to the room's mirror. The first two were wearing only their underwear, and their clothing was scattered across the room. Lily guessed that Ace hadn't been tossing his as wildly as Alice had, since the purple clothes were mostly within arm's reach of his chair, but some of the blue ones were halfway across the room from the bed.

"Well, don't just stand there with the door open," Ace scolded, his face flushing slightly.

Lily closed the door behind her and magicked herself a chair to sit on.

Alice gave Lily a welcoming smile. "You're a bit late to join in, but maybe we can play again another day."

"Oh, that's all right, I'm sure I'll enjoy just being a spectator for what's left of this one," Lily assured her.

Alice nodded and then turned to Ace. "Time to show your cards!"

He did. "Beat that..."

"How's this?" Alice showed her own hand, giggling.

Ace groaned. Lily held her breath, but instead of reaching for his boxers, he pulled off his eyepatch and dropped it. "You still need to win one more round," he said, winking with the now uncovered eye.

Alice gathered up the cards. "And you still have to beat me twice, Ace Spade. I think I have a better chance of winning this game than you do."

"It's not over till it's over," Ace insisted.

Lily couldn't decide if she would rather take the rare opportunity to examine Ace's burn scar or observe Alice calmly shuffling cards as though she wasn't nearly naked.

"You know what, Neil?" Alice said nonchalantly. "When we play this again with Lily, you should join us."

Neil looked away uncomfortably, and Ace huffed in displeasure.

"Something the matter, Ace?" Alice asked innocently.

He raised one eyebrow at her as if she should already know, then sighed. "...Just don't bring Jaiden into this."

* * *

 **AN: I don't know the rules of real poker, hence the vague description. If I got something wrong in spite of that, please forgive me and just pretend this type of strip poker has its own rules... After all, it's not the poker part that's important, right?**


	6. Bright Future

"You know, I can't say I approve of you picking up guys this young."

Alice looked up at the Spinner of Tales from her seat on the couch and grinned. "Come now, don't think badly of me, Louis. I wouldn't spoil the innocence of a child. Sure, he's adorable, but he'll be absolutely gorgeous once I wait for him to grow up."

While she spoke, she softly petted the blue hair of the small boy who lay with his head in her lap. Beside her, the boy's pink-haired twin sister shifted in her sleep, pressing her face closer to Alice's arm contentedly.

"Joker trusts me with them, you know. He knows I'm just a fun-loving big sister to them. Someone who'll play with them all day... or at least until this happens. Though I'm not sure if it was the games that wore them out or the exuberant jabbering about my boyfriends."

The Spinner of Tales shook his head. "I'll never understand you."

"You don't have to, darling. Just love me. Why don't you take that hood off now? You look much better with it down. In fact, maybe you should get rid of it all together."

With a sigh, Louis waved his quill. His black and green robe shifted, transforming. When it settled, the hood was gone, and so were the parts of the sleeves that would have covered his shoulders. "This more to your liking?"

"Ever so much more," Alice affirmed, eyeing his pale skin appreciatively. "I would love to jump on you right now, but if I get up, I'll wake the sleeping cuties, and we wouldn't be able to do anything in front of them."


	7. Yummy

"Ooh, yummy!"

Red Huber turned his startled golden gaze toward the girl he was kidnapping. She was watching him with a predatory gaze, and as soon as she saw him watching back, she very deliberately licked her lips. Red couldn't help the instant inferno that rose in his cheeks.

Alice gasped and gave him a huge smile. "Oh, are you an easy blusher? How cute!"

He looked aside and refused to answer, simply scooping her back up and putting her on his shoulder. To his nearly-panicking discomfort, she started petting his brown hair, murmuring something about cocoa. And butterscotch candy. And strawberry-tainted vanilla.

The distance between himself and his partner Hansel couldn't close fast enough.


	8. A Trip Not Wasted

"Well you see, Your Majesty, I came with the Spinner of Tales from my own world willingly. He didn't force me at all. So it's rather bold of you to have me kidnapped and brought here. I'm very flattered though." Alice smiled coyly at the king.

"You needn't think so highly of yourself. I meant for your kidnapping to be punishment for the Spinner of Tales. He should not have brought you from the Real World. There is too much risk of people there finding out about the World of Stories."

"They won't, not from me anyway." Alice waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not ever going back to my old world. My home is in Wonderland now, and as much as I'm enjoying this visit to your kingdom, I'd like to return before my boyfriends get too worried. Many of them are powerful magicians, and I would hate for a war to break out because they were over-eager to rescue me."

Sieghard Grimm rubbed his forehead in irritation. "Very well, I will have you escorted back to Wonderland. Red, Hansel, if you would."

Hansel bowed to the king and started to lead Alice away, but Red spoke up.

"King Grimm, if I may..."

"What is it?"

Red wore a conflicted expression and seemed to be having difficulty putting his thoughts into words. "...Since she won't try to escape on her way home, I'd like to stay here. Hansel can manage on his own."

Grimm frowned. Before he could speak, however, Alice voiced her opinion.

"Aw, does my affection make you nervous? That's okay, I'll give you some space to get used to it. Sweet Hansel can take me back, and I'll come visit you again sometime."

"Visit?!" yelped Red.

"But of course. I haven't made the king fall for me yet." Alice blew a kiss toward Grimm. "Don't worry, Grumpy-Grimms. I know you're just a big teddy bear inside."

She grabbed Hansel's arm and started toward the door, hanging on him so he would lean over enough for her to whisper in his ear. Whatever she was saying produced amused chuckles from Hansel, though he sent a rather guilty glance back at the other men.

With his face burning, Red slumped down to a sitting position on the throne room floor. "I don't think I'll EVER get used to that woman..."

"She is quite unique," agreed Grimm. "The sort of unique that leaves everyone in her wake muddled. I can't say I dislike her straightforward approach to life, though..."


	9. Polyamory

Alice lay naked on her bed, surrounded by four of her boyfriends who were wearing only their underwear. Luke was absent because he couldn't take so much jealousy.

Sidd was at her side, his head on her bare chest. While he liked his position just fine, Alice was playing with his ears, and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. It left him a somewhat flustered mess.

Alice let out a moan, her other hand clutching the cat-eared head between her thighs. "Give more kitty licks..."

Kyle purred and obeyed.

Joker flopped on top of Sidd, drawing a grunt from the March Hare. "Come on, don't we get some love too?"

"That's my ribs, Joker, not an arm rest," Sidd complained.

Sitting on the other side of Alice, Owen chuckled as he observed the others subtly vying for attention. "It doesn't seem like you're doing much to earn any 'love', Joker."

Joker smirked at the Chess King. "Well, neither are you. Shall we try to entertain our darling Alice?"

The Chess King smirked back. "Challenge accepted."

"Huh?" Joker's expression turned into confusion, then shock as Owen leaned across the two bodies between them and grabbed his chin. "What challe-"

The redhead's question was lost in a heated kiss. A thrilled gasp from Alice kept him from pulling away when Owen's tongue roughly took advantage of his open mouth. If Alice was pleased, nothing was too much to ask.

Sidd winced and closed his eyes, pleading, "Please don't squeeze my ears so tight, Alice..."

The Cheshire Cat paused to inquire, "What's so entertaining about THAT?"

"More hot guys the better," Alice muttered, her eyes never straying from the exchange going on above her. "Don't stop..."

Kyle immediately went back to work, regardless of whether she had been talking to him, or...

Well, as for those two, they also followed Alice's wishes, one struggling against the other's dominance before falling into an inevitable checkmate.


End file.
